Who's Ever Going To Read This Anyway: Archive

DADTv

After an awesome day at the beach my ass was kicked. I was sunburned (with fingers crossed that this will be the time it becomes a tan, but convinced it’ll probably become cancer) and wanted to get some chow. Since I had eaten nothing that hadn’t come in a bottle the whole time at the beach I was ravenous. Gorging myself on lasagna, sweet and sour chicken, and some watered down potato...

Jun 19th

it's happening...

My room still smells like flat coke. It’s kinda gross. I’m fairly certain that someone must have poured it into the air ducts or something. It doesn’t matter. I’m more worried about my brain (and why my computer has glitter all over keyboard, did it come that way?) This damn logic course has me thinking in different number systems. I randomly think of things in base 12, or...

Apr 21st

Working Title

Snapped out of a dream by the alarm clock, I reach over and silence my pest. Buzzing alarms always remind me that there is somewhere I don’t want to be looming in my near future. I stare at the perfectly rounded numbers 08:00. The Chinese believe that 8 is a lucky number. Fuck the Chinese. Before I could even drift back to sleep I hear my phone calling to me, like a child that knows exactly...

Apr 11th

A possible first chapter to new story?

The blade drags across the young boy’s palm. As the seam in his skin opens behind it, the blood flows. The other boy follows suit. After all, they did everything together what’s one more thing? They were already joined at the hip, what’s wrong with being joined at a wound? They shook hands, sharing the blood. Sealing the bond. “…No matter what.” That was the rule. I was 14 years old when my best...

Apr 22nd

Standing up from the bed, He takes the covers with him. His nymph, the pixie, little blonde with the cute upturned nose and big gorgeous eyes flies for her shirt. Even after the ways he’s defiled her, she still feigns shyness. Maybe that’s what he likes about her. That innocence, her modesty that appears only when he’s not inside her. He gets a glimpse of her right breast, her favorite of the...

Apr 17th

St Louis

It’s hard to believe it was just yesterday When that airplane took you so far away And I’m left here all alone without knowing why I was just ten mins from giving my heart Now you’re hanging out under that Gateway Arch And my bed’s so lonesome I swear that I could cry All the things I’d do, Just to get to you I’d fly three hours on an east bound plane Or spend...

Dec 17th

Aug 12th

Writing Exercise- Bird

I walked in to work and asked a co-worker of mine for a word to get my 10 mins of writing done for the day. I only got about 8 but it was a good 8 mins for me. Floating, falling, soaring, tumbling, the wind’s hands grab and throw the beautiful creature through the sky. With a small, insignificant twitch of a single feather the direction changes course. Tossing beautiful aerobatics into...

Jul 8th

All Time Low- Nothing Personal (review)

I got my advance copy of All Time Low’s new CD, “Nothing Personal.” It came with a T-shirt and a poster. The marketing was funny. At Bamboozle Left, and Warped Tour there are posters insulting the poppy emo kids who listen to them with the tagline “Nothing Personal” at the end of it. Even the T-shirt said “@alltimelow Your New Album Sucks- Nothing...

Jul 7th

Sweet Dreams

This is a poem I found the other day looking through some boxes. I’m not saying it’s a gem. No real rhyme scheme and I have no clue when I wrote it but I like it. It’s 12:37 I bet you’re asleep I hold my breath through your door I creep Slowly and shutting the door carefully till An audible click seals your fate You don’t even stir as I fill the syringe...

Jul 5th

Writing Exercise- Polyester

I got my friend to try this 10 min exercise with me…. I won’t publish his for reasons untold, but this was mine. Writing Exercise- Polyester The satiny, smooth highway my fingers travel across, slipping and sliding around like a drunken ice skater on the freshly zambonied surface, sends a scratching, tingling sensation up my digits. I can hear the ever increasing pitch of the my...

Jul 4th

Writing Exercise- Holding Your Breath

So my first writing exercise was to write for 10 mins on a topic and stop when the timer went off. The topic was Holding Your Breath and this is what I got: For the first few seconds, the rush of cold, clean fresh air feels like you can hold it forever. As you stand there, your will binding your lungs holding on tightly to the saving life inside you begins to tremble. The cells of your body, no...

Jul 3rd

The rest of the last post

Ah, latchkey kids on vacation. She puts her phone back in those pants. I brush my hand across her shoulder and down her arm. She looks at me. “You had something on you.” I say with a calm, smooth even voice looking deep into her eyes. “And I wanted to take it off.” Any young girl will tip her hand just like poker players at the table. Only it’s so much sweeter. Like clock work, she swallows,...

Jun 18th

By popular demand (my first chapter)

Some friends have read this/ want to read more. I want to see if it’s worth working on. Let me know. As I make my way down the strip, I can smell women. Girls to be precise. Young, drunk co-eds or fresh high school seniors girls who come here to celebrate graduating, or better yet, stuck here away from their friends on a family vacation. Vacationers are the best, see, in Vegas the family...

Jun 16th

Jun 9th

Jun 7th

I'm back

I didn’t really go anywhere, but I realize that I haven’t written anything on this blog for a while. I was talking to a respected colleague who mentioned that I have not written anything on my blog in quite some time. I was actually surprised she even reads it. But here I am writing again. I’ve had a few ideas for a series of short stories that I want to string together (one of...

Jun 2nd

Retail Woes

I have a customer who has caused nothing but problems at my store. She has come in, demanded discounts, 2 for pricing when buying one item, etc, etc. She’s called corporate to yell at them and try to get her way. She even told my manager that our VP of sales works for her now. Needless to say she’s a freaking beast. She came in yesterday to return everything she fought to get at ...

Apr 12th

How to produce a play

I’m currently working on getting the rights for a musical I want to produce/direct. It’s a process, but I can’t wait to see this thing on stage. I’ve got a contact at a theater, and I’m going to try to get a few weekends, or maybe two weeks straight at a small 81 seat theater. It would be fun. It’s a great story and for those of you who know the show, good for...

Apr 11th

Apr 6th

Birthday

I’m usually sick on my birthday. Every year I wake up with a sore throat or cold or whatever. This year was different. I decided that I was going to spread my birthday out between a bunch of people. I sent out a mass text saying “Name the night and i’ll be there, first come first serve.” I spent my the first seconds of my birthday (midnight) drinking with a friend and it...

Mar 28th

March Madness (2)

So after the first round of the tournament I’m in first place in my pool (God, i need that 250 dollars.) I got an astonishing 30 out of 32 games correct. The only two I missed was Dayton beating West Virginia (I could have gone either way) and the HUGE upset, Cleveland State beating Wake Forrest- I mean who saw that happening (save Michael Farrell and other Cleveland Fan-boys)? But come...

Mar 21st

March Madness

Most of your office pools are due tomorrow, so to give you a heads up on how to pick them, here you go. If you have a big office pool (more than 25 people in it) you have to rely on upsets (go with 9’s over 8’s and 12’s over 5’s for the most common upset) and if you have an upset, feel confident enough to ride them an extra round, it’ll gain you some major points. ...

Mar 17th

Turning A Phrase

 This was based on a conversation I had with a friend who I will not name but he knows who he is.
Guy: That's some bullshit. I'm so mad i could eat a horse.
Girl: Um... what?
Guy: It's just a phrase.
Girl: Yeah, But...I think it's I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.
Guy: What? But I'm not hungry- i'm mad.
Girl: No, I know, I'm just saying you don't have the phrase right. It's I'm so HUNGRY I could eat a horse.
Guy: Well, I've never heard that.
Girl: But you just.... ok.

Mar 10th

It's sucking me in

I can’t help it. But Facebook is sucking me in. I originally only signed up for the sheer fact that a job I’m doing (writing a facebook app) needed me to sign up. But now I find myself spending my time on the site, using the chat app and slowing obsessing. I invite people to events and watch as the people say no yes or maybe. I think I need help. This isn’t good. What’s...

Mar 10th

Who Watches the Watchmen?

Not many? I went to a theater to see the Watchmen on opening night and there were less than a dozen people in the theater to see it. That’s not usually a good sign. I’m sure most people had seen it on Thursday (those comic book nerds who really needed to see it) at midnight. And I’ll tell you what… It wasn’t the savior of the comic book movie genre that I was...

Mar 7th

Holler! →

An awesome comedy troupe. Make sure you check out the GEAR section and pick up a shirt.

Mar 5th

Yesterday

So yesterday was a fun day to say the least. Everyone was still affected by the “fun” we had the night before. And life was just passing by in a semi conscious fully sedated state, but shit had to get done. I had to take @DocHobbes to the doctor’s office to take check out some stuff to see if he’s alright. So far good news, nothing bad came up on the first three or four...

Mar 3rd

Books

I have so many books just chilling under my coffee table waiting to be read. My problem is I “never have time to read.” Usually because I’m busy watching TV. Even when there is nothing on. It’s quite pathetic. But I feel like I owe TV so much. It’s always been there for me, when I’m lonely at night, when I’m not feeling well. TV is the one I could always...

Feb 26th

Watch

The highlights from the HOLLER! 2-21-09 show. Freaking amazing.

Feb 25th

Feb 21st

A Word on Water

I’m getting kinda sick of being told what to drink. It used to be which sports drink would make me stronger, faster, and more hydrated. Then it became which energy drink won’t cause me to crash. What soda does or doesn’t have calories and now I can’t even drink water without bending my brain over the right choice. See, people on TV are telling me that if I drink bottled...

Feb 10th

Feb 5th

Holler! →

The world’s best improv troupe?

Feb 5th

25 Random Things

A friend of mine did this on his blog, and he challenged me to do this (since he had some trouble with the list) Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you. And if I didn’t...

Feb 2nd

What's Next???

My life has been in turmoil right now. I mean I’m writing some stuff for a facebook app video game, that’s making me a bit of cash. I’m also trying to get my novel going. I have just under 10,000 words, which isn’t a lot, but it’s more than I’ve ever written for a novel or story before so I’m kinda attached to the project. I’m also working with some...

Feb 1st

“And I know you want me to want you- I want to, baby…”

– Mayday Parade

Jan 30th

Paint like Pollock →

You know, since it is his birthday today I figure it’s only appropriate to spend a little time on this site. It’s kinda fun, and can kill some time. Express you’re creative anger with no training or talent in art required.

Jan 28th

Watch

First real day of shooting for @brizbane’s movie, Wrong Way

Jan 27th

First Day of Shooting

I woke up early to get my first day of shooting done with @brizbane. He’s making a short film that I’m the star of. I’m kidding. I’m a supporting character but it’s nice to dream. But shooting was really fun. Well, you know as fun as shooting can be. There is the hurry up and wait, and the let’s do it again. And, don’t forget, the wait for the...

Jan 26th

Watch

My favorite part of the Huntington Library

Jan 22nd

Inauguration Day Slumming

Me: Hello there, Hobo aren't you just excited?
Homeless Guy: Have any change?
Me: Change? Change? Today is a day of hope and change!!! I have tons of it.
Homeless Guy: Can I have some change?
Me: You have some. His name is Obama.
Homeless Guy: But... I just need some change.
Me: It's only his first day, give him time.
Homeless Guy: But, I'm hungry.
Me: That's because you have no hope. Were you hungry yesterday?
Homeless Guy: Yes, I'm hungry everyday.
Me: Sounds like you aren't changing, and I'm not interested in talking to someone who's so negative about Obama. Good day, sir.

Jan 21st

Jan 19th

....um about last night.

So last night I went to the a sketch comedy show an the Upright Citizen’s Brigade in Hollywood. It was funny, only one of the acts I saw I thought was a miss, but I must have been the only one because the guy got a high score. My favorite one didn’t win. But that’s alright, it was a great show. After the show I got to hang out with my friends, one friend in particular I...

Jan 18th

Mike In The Shell →

Check out this blog by a friend of mine, I’m sure some of you have seen it… but for those who haven’t take a look.

Jan 16th

LARPING

I don’t know how much you guys might know about LARPing (aka Live Action Role Playing) but lately I have seen a lot of it. This cult phenomena has become almost mainstream, being featured in hit movies (Role Models) as well as being focused more closely on in Documentaries (Monster Camp.) It also has been brought to my attention in Independent comedies (Momma’s Boy) and Adult Swim cartoons (Frisky...

Jan 15th